leaders. disciples. sheeps.
when i look at how the whole thing works, it is amazing.
just when i take at a closer look at all the smaller things, it is not as amazing anymore.
leaders and sheeps. supposedly to have the closest relationship.
sheeps are to open up to leaders. and leaders are supposed to guide them to handle situations.
but its always one way.
- leaders never open up to sheeps. ok. seldom. even if they do, it’s a touch and go.
how can a proper and strong and the closest relationship be built one sided-ly ?
- never.
leaders are always with leaders. talkin about things that sheeps and disciples don’t understand. talking about things that we are not allowed to know, not allowed to question. never allowed to understand.
not given to chance to. that’s how i shall say anyway.
leaders are no doubt the ones with the better understanding of the bible and are the ones who can handle situations better in that Godly way.
but. – shrug. i seriously don’t know.
not sideways. but up.
restricted. i can only tell one person.
whatever goes up, revolves in circles up there, and gets down somehow.
whats the point.
what if ive build really strong friendships with others in church ?
does it mean that i cant share my probs with them ? wow. giving it some thought now.
as much as i want to be transparent to the leaders, i expect them to be transparent too. and not only answer with ‘ nothing much. just gotta settle some stuffs.’
they are concerned about me. so am i.
some are worse. you show him/her concern, he/she totally ignores it.dont tell me rubbish that he/she knows it inside her heart. cos events just show that he/she does not. its very hurting isn’t it ? to know that u actually made the extra effort to care, just by a simple sms. but he/she doesn’t even know that its YOU who sent it.
imperfections. everyone has them. im seriously not doubting that.
ive already made myself clear, din i ?
the relations between leaders and leaders make me feel inferior. not in terms of positions. who cares about positions. i don’t.
im kinda tired. about all these. have been on my mind for sucha long time. din and can’t tell anyone.
leader. what a big word.
leaders with leaders. disciples with sheeps. that’s my conclusion. fullstop.
joyous. loving Him. ;
12/27/2004 10:22:00 PM ++
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