dad just came back not long ago. talked to me about church and religion stuff. was quite saddened. cos he din seem to have the same mentality as he used to have last last week. he told me that im only eighteen this year. he says that things will change, people will change. i just listened. din want to interrupt. this is his point of view. I have to respect his point of view. the thing is that hes starting to take the same stand as my mom. prayed to Him immediately. yes I did.
felt so much better. yes I do.
now i realize how come im not as close to my leader as how other sheeps will be to their leaders. cos the first person I turn to in times of needs, is not her. its God. its Him. the first person. yes. He is the first. I dont turn to her straight away for I find the most comfort in God. and I dont want to tell people I have probs for I feel that God will carry me through. instead, I have the urgency to tell them how my prob was solved and what God has done for everything to happen.
I want to share the good things that I have, the best things that I have experienced. and not the sour stuffs that I am going through.
but of cos, sometimes, when im troubled, I do tell certain people even the sour things that im going through. but I get over them quite quickly. yes I will. maybe 2 months before, I wont. but now, I will.
the only regret now that I feel is that im not able to bring anyone to church for service. I cant promise. I just want to bring them here so much so much so much. they are ready. I know they are. been with them for so long. certain people are just more than ready. but yet, its on my part. its truly on my part. all I can do now, is to spend this period of time to really get into them. bring those who have drifted apart from Him, back to His arms. thats my aim. and yes. I will. (:
to wendy : my dear child, trust and love Him. you will be rewarded. for your courage, faith and perseverance. we are in the same situation. if i can smile and be strong, you can too. but you know what ? its definitely okay to break down. I broke down a lot of times. being His child doesn’t mean you have to pretend to be happy ALL the while. I just wanna tell you that, crying is not a crime. esp when you cry for Him. He knows your heart. He hears what your heart says. He knows that you cried for Him. He is so sure of you. so sure that you are going to be one of the last warriors standing by Him at the battle. be strong. be courageous. be faithful. wendy, you know something ? u are truly a girl, so small on the outside, but so big on the inside. big visions. big dreams. big love. big heart. and a huge bravery and faith. God knows. yes. He knows. nothing can stop you from getting to Him anymore. go on, my dear. (: im with you.
have faith. have absolute faith. keep on going, no stopping at this junction. no stopping. no red lights. just go all the way. yes. that is what I will do. no matter im in church or not, my heart is there. my heart is with You,God. yes it is.
I kept my promise. to keep my heart. promised. and fulfilled.
joyous. loving Him. ;
1/29/2005 12:03:00 PM ++
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